She Walks

She walks ahead of me,

Taking her own path. 

All I can think,

Is how little time we get to have them,

Close beside us.  

Eventually they head out into the world,

To find their own place. 

But no matter where they go,

I’ll love them unconditionally,

Until I am no more. 

A Child’s Thoughts

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As we were getting ready for school this morning, my 8yr said to me that she now realised that she had wasted so much time not being happy at her old school. She didn’t like going, but she always came out happy. And now she really missed her teacher Mr S. That she should have appreciated every moment she had being taught by him, because he was the best teacher and she didn’t get to see him now. She likes Miss E who she has now and she’s going to make the most of every day with her. She’s not the same as Mr S, but she’s still lovely. I told her most adults hadn’t worked that out and it’s important to enjoy and be in the moment.
We walked to school, her hand in my hand, tucked in my coat pocket to keep warm. Laughing and chatting about the dragons in our stomachs and their smoke coming out of our mouths. We saw people hurrying to work or school and their smoke and wondered if they knew they had dragons inside them too.
As we stopped to let her pick up a 5p for luck, I felt a pang of sadness. This my favourite part of the day. Walking and chatting with her, lost in our imagination. Life changes and shifts, as it should. They will out grow me. I felt a wave of sadness, but remembered her words from earlier, which made me smile. I will try to make sure I’m always in the now for my kids. So I can string these moments for later and wear them round my heart.
Leaving the playground without my shadow, hands in pockets, my fingers found a small coin. Pulling it out, it was the 5p she had picked up and obviously slipped into my pocket. You can never really leave someone you love unconditionally. There is always a part of them you’ll carry. It’s the moments like this that ties you together.
Live. Love.