Why worry about our surface?
The one the world brushes against.
I’m scared of those I let see below my surface;
Who see my soul,
And find me ugly.
..what if I go to Victoria and buy these things and she doesn’t let me in?…
..I bought a ticket for a trip around the island..
..it cost me twenty, well it cost twenty but I got it for..
..and we were celebrating, because, you know, we knew them..
..I think she knows, by her saying this, she must know..
..of course it is; I said that to her..
..sweet. Well I’ll be there soon. Right. Ok. Sweet. See you soon bye..
..well that’s great..
..I’m not sure..
(Sitting listening to the snippets of conversations on the train and writing them down. Tiny life windows)
If you look at the moon, really look at the moon closely, you’ll see it’s not perfect. Does that detract from how it looks or how you feel about her? Surely that’s part of what makes it unique, and in it’s own way, what adds to it’s beauty. I like that it’s not uniform, it means that it’s real. Not artificial. The moon glows; changes; never staying the same each day. Sometimes she’s the rebel out in daylight. But no matter how many times you look, the moon still catches your breath. Still makes you fall in love with her each time. You never loose that feeling, no matter how many times you see her.
I’m not surprised that the moon has inspired people for thousands of years and is loved by so many. Even the way moonlight touches things, changes the way you see it. A rose at night has more depth and beauty. That’s what you do. You give those you love that same touch.
This is why I gave you your nickname. When I look at you, I see all of you. Every single detail that makes you you. I know what you think is wrong with you and I look and can’t see it. I see a person who is not perfect, but that’s exactly what makes you unique and striking. You shine. People are drawn into your orbit, they want to be close to you. And when you get under someones skin, you have the power of the moon to draw them close. To lift them. You inspire and are loved. Your light spills onto everyday things and makes me see the world in a different way. A beautiful alive way.
I know you get lost in your surface. What you look like. And I look. I look at you, like I look at the moon. The surface is part of who you are and it shines. You glow. And no matter how many times I see your face, it still makes me smile and happy to see you. I love that face. And I’m not the first, nor will I be the last.
So next time you start to get a little lost. Reread these words. Then look at the moon. Look closely. Think about how you actually see the moon. Because that’s how you should view yourself. That’s how I see you.
You are moon.
I wrote this for a close friend I love. For someone who struggled to see what we see. Their demons are loud and I wanted to help give them strength to fight them.
They’re no longer a close friend, but I will always love them for how they helped me see the world. Six years of friendship is painful to have lost and I don’t know if they ever read my words (they were originally handwritten, to be opened in case of emergency). This was the copy I kept ready to email if they needed it. I was going to bin it too, but then I thought, there are others out there that struggle with their demons. Maybe if I put this out there, that these words might help even one person.
There is a beauty in everyone, so don’t get lost in your surface. You are moon too.
The image is not mine.
Cut through my careful stitches,
Holding me together.
And let me fall undone into your hands.
And if I can’t find me,
Scattered amongst others words,
I shall have to write myself,
Back into the world.
She was the kind of girl,
Smoke chased as she walked away.
Dancing in her wake.